Ringo Starr - Stop and Smell the Roses (RCA, 1981)

Ringo Starr - Stop and Smell the Roses
The LP's grim stat: No sales, nor orders.



Notes

1. "No sales." Although it may not be numerically exact, this claim conveys an essential truth: "On 31 December, the HMV store in London announces that despite the busy Christmas period, only 30 copies of the album had been sold with the store....Nonplussed, RCA dropped Starr in 1982. For the first time in his career, Starr was out of a recording contract – and this time, no major UK or US company would be willing to sign him."

Paul McCartney - Kisses on the Bottom (Hear Music/MPL, 2012)

Paul McCartney - Kisses on the Bottom
Token crap. Best title? Smooch My Anus.



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: O no! Meek star's shitty concept album.
2. Another possibility: Ono: "Meek star's shitty concept album."

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges (Apple/EMI, 1974)

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges
New lands honor bland jingles!



Notes

1. "New lands": In the American charts, this album -- and the bland jingle "Whatever Gets You Thru the Night" -- reached #1. No other solo single by Lennon topped the charts in his lifetime. The album also reached #1 in the nearby terra nova of Canada.

Ringo Starr - Time Takes Time (Private Music, 1992)

Ringo Starr - Time Takes Time
Geriatrist's item. No market!

George Harrison - Gone Troppo (Dark Horse, 1982)

George Harrison - Gone Troppo
Poor song repertoire. Go hang!

The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night (Parlophone, 1964)

The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night
Hey, lads! The band's a great hit!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Tarty ladies shag the band, eh?

George Harrison - Cloud Nine (Dark Horse, 1987)

George Harrison - Cloud Nine
Unoriginal record. He's gone!

George Harrison - Extra Texture (Apple, 1975)

George Harrison - Extra Texture (Read All About It)
Errant hero! Our dear ex-Beatle guitarist got lax.

George Harrison - Brainwashed (Capitol, 2002)

George Harrison - Brainwashed
G.H. dies. O, bring a narrow hearse!



Notes

1. Harrison died during the recording of this album; it was completed and released posthumously.
2. Alternative anagram: Harrowing saga: He dies. Reborn?

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Parlophone, 1967)

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
The LP art gently blabs Paul's secret: He's been O.P.D.!



Notes

1. "O.P.D." stands for "officially pronounced dead." As Turn Me On, Dead Man notes, "On the inside photo, Paul is wearing a patch with the letters 'O.P.D.,' interpreted as "Officially Pronounced Dead'....[T]his phrase is the equivalent of 'Dead On Arrival' in British police jargon."

George Harrison - Living in the Material World (Apple, 1973)

George Harrison - Living in the Material World
G.H.'s wee error: "I grovel in thrall to Indian magi."

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Wedding Album (Apple, 1969)

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Wedding Album
Bed-in? An odd honeymoon, J.L.! Go annul now, 'k?



Notes

1. From Wikipedia: "'Amsterdam,' the second side, consists of interviews, conversations and captured sounds during the couple's famous 'Bed-In' honeymoon, after being married on 20 March of that year."

George Harrison - Electronic Sound (Zapple, 1969)

George Harrison - Electronic Sound
He's recording noise! O, true clangor!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Or, "Ol' G.H. cuts a record in noise genre."

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins (Apple, 1968)

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins
Oh no! Run-down junkies condone 1st vision of yoni 'n' lingham!

Notes

1. "Run-down junkies": Lennon later described this album cover as a picture of "two slightly overweight ex-junkies in the nude."

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Unfinished Music No. 2: Life with the Lions (Zapple, 1969)

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Unfinished Music No. 2: Life with the Lions
"Any hit on it, Johnnie?"
"No."
"Music?"
"No."
"Skill?"
"No."
"Oho, flesh? Nude 2nd wife?!"
"No."

Notes

1. This album reached #174 on the US charts. Ono and Lennon reportedly blamed Apple for failing to promote it properly. Therefore, it seems reasonable to interpret the dialogue above as a conversation between Lennon and Apple publicist Derek Taylor. 
2. "Nude 2nd wife": Ono and Lennon were married a couple of months before this album's release. They both appeared nude on the cover of Unfinished Music No. 1. 

George Harrison - All Things Must Pass (Apple, 1970)

George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
Mr. H plagiarises gals' song, then tours.

Notes

1. A judge ruled that George Harrison had "subconsciously" plagiarized the Chiffons' 1963 hit "He's So Fine" for his 1970 hit "My Sweet Lord." 
2. Harrison launched an ill-fated tour of North America in 1974, proving yet again that anagrams never lie.