Kiss - Creatures of the Night (Mercury, 1982)

Kiss - Creatures of the Night
Snore at the kitsch figures.

Bad Company - Rough Diamonds (Swan Song, 1982)

Bad Company - Rough Diamonds
O God...dumpy band! No charisma.

Rod Stewart - Every Beat of My Heart (Warner Bros., 1986)

Rod Stewart - Every Beat of My Heart
Oh, retreat, ye tarts! Beware of my VD!

Pete Townshend - White City: A Novel (Atco, 1985)

Pete Townshend - White City: A Novel
I won't pen eleventh Who disc yet. Ta!



Notes

1. "Eleventh Who disc": Townshend released this solo album during the 24-year gap between the tenth and eleventh studio LPs by the Who.

Kurtis Blow - Party Time? (Mercury, 1983)

Kurtis Blow - Party Time?
Subtitle it "My Rap Work."

Ringo Starr - Stop and Smell the Roses (RCA, 1981)

Ringo Starr - Stop and Smell the Roses
The LP's grim stat: No sales, nor orders.



Notes

1. "No sales." Although it may not be numerically exact, this claim conveys an essential truth: "On 31 December, the HMV store in London announces that despite the busy Christmas period, only 30 copies of the album had been sold with the store....Nonplussed, RCA dropped Starr in 1982. For the first time in his career, Starr was out of a recording contract – and this time, no major UK or US company would be willing to sign him."

Sir Douglas Quintet - Border Wave (Chrysalis, 1981)

Sir Douglas Quintet - Border Wave
Weird old vagrants bore us. Quiet!

The Replacements - Don't Tell a Soul (Sire, 1989)

The Replacements - Don't Tell a Soul
Let me hold Paul's secret: No talent!

Rod Stewart - Body Wishes (Warner Bros., 1983)

Rod Stewart - Body Wishes
Boy, what weird STD sores!

Rod Stewart - Foolish Behaviour (Riva, 1980)

Rod Stewart - Foolish Behaviour
Fool sowed urethritis. Ah, bravo!



 Notes

1. "Urethritis": See also Tonight I'm Yours and Blondes Have More Fun.

Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation (Enigma, 1988)

Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation
An odious NY act. Ah, modernity!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Yon idiocy roused Manhattan!

Roger Daltrey - Parting Should Be Painless (Atlantic, 1984)

Roger Daltrey - Parting Should Be Painless
Agreed! I'll purge this bad LP. Not sorry...sane!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Pete blandly guarantees Rog's LP is horrid.

X - Under the Big Black Sun (Elektra, 1982)

X - Under the Big Black Sun
Drunk sex. Cheating. Blub!



Notes

1. Another anagram, offered solely as a curiosity: Gun Club - "Sex Beat." Drink. H.

John Entwistle - Too Late the Hero (Atco, 1981)

John Entwistle - Too Late the Hero
To the sole talent: Rejoin the Who!



Notes

1. "Sole talent": On this album, Entwistle was backed by Joe Walsh and Joe Vitale. As Wikipedia notes, "the album was generally poorly received. Entwistle soon returned to the Who."

Roger Daltrey - Can't Wait to See the Movie (Atlantic, 1987)

Roger Daltrey's Can't Wait to See the Movie
Dire Who vocalist emerges to natter at ye.

The 150 Murderous Passions - The 150 Murderous Passions.... (United Dairies, 1981)

The 150 Murderous Passions - The 150 Murderous Passions, or Those Belonging to the Fourth Class, Composing the 28 Days of February Spent in Hearing the Narrations of Madame Desgranges, Interspersed Amongst Which Are the Scandalous Doings at the Château During That Month

Grating 80s noise record by William Bennett and S. Stapleton, honoring Sade's nauseating torture-porn epic (or dung monograph) The 120 Days of Sodom. It offers 515 harsh screeches, echo, hum and tape hiss. (Drums? Feh!) Ought to enthuse smug atheists, shit eaters and anagram authors.

 
Notes

1. This challenging title was suggested by an understandably anonymous reader.
2. This album features William Bennett of Whitehouse and Steven Stapleton of Nurse With Wound.

George Harrison - Gone Troppo (Dark Horse, 1982)

George Harrison - Gone Troppo
Poor song repertoire. Go hang!

Michael Jackson - Thriller (Epic, 1982)

Michael Jackson - Thriller
Ha! Rich, ill jerk can molest!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: I'll conceal this jr. harem, 'k?

Lou Reed - Legendary Hearts (RCA, 1983)

Lou Reed - Legendary Hearts
Dour, sere, leaden lethargy.

Rod Stewart - Tonight I'm Yours (Warner Bros., 1981)

Rod Stewart - Tonight I'm Yours
Tomorrow night? Dysuria test.



Notes

1. "Dysuria": Painful urination.