Gary Glitter - Touch Me (Bell Records, 1973)

Gary Glitter - Touch Me
Mr. G: "Hey, a cute girl tot!"



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: G.G.: "I leer at yr tot, chum."
2. "Tot": See also our review of On.

Rolling Stones - Goats Head Soup (Rolling Stones, 1973)

Rolling Stones - Goats Head Soup
Stale roguishness. Not a good LP!



Notes

1. An alternative anagram, which can be read as a band member's response to the foregoing: Our song 'Angie' sold lots," he spat.

Willie Nelson - Stardust (Columbia, 1978)

Willie Nelson - Stardust
Wan listener: "It's so dull!"

Canned Heat - One More River to Cross (Atlantic/WEA, 1973)

Canned Heat - One More River to Cross
Vast crooner Hite: "Send me a coroner!"



Notes

1. We are sorry to report that vast crooner Bob "The Bear" Hite died after a concert on April 5, 1981, having snorted a vial of heroin that he apparently mistook for a different but equally dangerous drug. 
2. Alternative anagram: Coroner: "Hite's one monster cadaver!"
3. Lest we forget, the preceding anagram is Re: Man's heroin overdose at concert.
4. Also, too: Send a coroner to cover the remains.

David Bowie - Heroes (RCA, 1977)

David Bowie - Heroes
I'd vowed he is a bore.

Patti Smith Group - Easter (Arista, 1978)

Patti Smith Group - Easter
Pert guitarist, sham poet.



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Pah. Utter egoist's armpit! 
2. Another anagram, offered as a consolation prize for her dozens of fans: Stamp her "guitarist-poet."

England Dan and John Ford Coley - Some Things Don't Come Easy (Big Tree, 1978)

England Dan and John Ford Coley - Some Things Don't Come Easy
Jolly good songs, for instance! They had none. Damned cad-men!

Grateful Dead - What a Long Strange Trip It's Been (Warner Bros., 1977)

Grateful Dead - What a Long Strange Trip It's Been: The Best of the Grateful Dead
The stoner adage: Eat LSD, puff herb, attend ritual gigs, get welfare, don't bathe.

Eric Clapton - Slowhand (RSO, 1977)

Eric Clapton - Slowhand
"Cocaine" sold thrawn LP.

Notes

1. "Cocaine" is the opening track on this thrawn LP.
2. "Thrawn": A Scots adjective meaning "crooked" or "perverse."

Rod Stewart - Gasoline Alley (Mercury, 1970)

Rod Stewart - Gasoline Alley
Lady, later: "Ow! Genital sores!"

Talking Heads - Fear of Music (Sire, 1979)

Talking Heads - Fear of Music
Mr. Eno's aghast: "Fuck, I failed!"



Notes

1. This was the second Talking Heads LP produced by Brian Eno.
2. Alternative anagram: A smug honkie's craft failed. 
3. Also: Ugh. Fake African melodists!

Rod Stewart - Every Picture Tells a Story (Mercury, 1971)

Rod Stewart - Every Picture Tells a Story
Rotter, coyly: "Retreat, wee lass. I spurt VD!"



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: A tryst. Eerily, two rectal VD sores erupt. 
2. And just in case any skeptics remain: Yes, VD reports are totally true. Screw it!

Grateful Dead - Skeletons from the Closet (Warner Bros., 1974)

Grateful Dead - Skeletons from the Closet: The Best of Grateful Dead
A dreadful herd of talentless bums get together to defecate, folks!

Eric Clapton - No Reason to Cry (Polydor, 1976)

Eric Clapton - No Reason to Cry
Openly racist crooner. No act!



Notes

1. "Openly racist": See Eric Clapton's Disgusting Racist Tirade, as well as our earlier review of Backless.

The Velvet Underground - Loaded (Cotillion, 1970)

The Velvet Underground - Loaded
Lou Reed devolved: Art, then dung.

Keith Moon - Two Sides of the Moon (MCA/Polydor, 1975)

Keith Moon - Two Sides of the Moon
K.M. of the Who notes, "I'm soon to die!"

Leonard Cohen - Recent Songs (Columbia, 1979)

Leonard Cohen - Recent Songs
Needs gals! No other concern.



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Gonorrheal connectedness.

Steely Dan - Pretzel Logic (ABC, 1974)

Steely Dan - Pretzel Logic
Cloying, ersatz LP. Delete!

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges (Apple/EMI, 1974)

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges
New lands honor bland jingles!



Notes

1. "New lands": In the American charts, this album -- and the bland jingle "Whatever Gets You Thru the Night" -- reached #1. No other solo single by Lennon topped the charts in his lifetime. The album also reached #1 in the nearby terra nova of Canada.

The Ramones - Road to Ruin (Sire, 1978)

The Ramones - Road to Ruin
Near-morons authored it.