Steely Dan - Pretzel Logic (ABC, 1974)

Steely Dan - Pretzel Logic
Cloying, ersatz LP. Delete!

Alanis Morissette - Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie (Maverick, 1998)

Alanis Morissette - Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Spiritual pretensions run amok. Just ease me off to India!

Pearl Jam - Yield (Epic, 1998)

Pearl Jam's Yield
A lady jeers: "Limp!"

Paul McCartney - Kisses on the Bottom (Hear Music/MPL, 2012)

Paul McCartney - Kisses on the Bottom
Token crap. Best title? Smooch My Anus.



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: O no! Meek star's shitty concept album.
2. Another possibility: Ono: "Meek star's shitty concept album."

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges (Apple/EMI, 1974)

John Lennon - Walls and Bridges
New lands honor bland jingles!



Notes

1. "New lands": In the American charts, this album -- and the bland jingle "Whatever Gets You Thru the Night" -- reached #1. No other solo single by Lennon topped the charts in his lifetime. The album also reached #1 in the nearby terra nova of Canada.

Ringo Starr - Time Takes Time (Private Music, 1992)

Ringo Starr - Time Takes Time
Geriatrist's item. No market!

George Harrison - Gone Troppo (Dark Horse, 1982)

George Harrison - Gone Troppo
Poor song repertoire. Go hang!

Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Nonesuch, 2002)

Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
I can't extol the work, ye fools!

Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine (Clean Slate/Epic, 2005)

Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
Prolix NY maiden at her piano. A farce!

Sleater-Kinney - The Woods (Sub Pop, 2005)

Sleater-Kinney - The Woods
Late heroines to NW dykes.



Notes

1. We're pleased to be able to report -- for once -- that "late" in this context is simply a synonym for "recent."

Grateful Dead - Without a Net (Arista, 1990)

Grateful Dead - Without a Net
"A new tale of drug death," I tut.



Notes

1. "Drug death": Immediately after the tour commemorated on this album, keyboardist Brent Mydland died of a drug overdose.

Mumford and Sons - Babel (Glass Note, 2012)

Mumford and Sons - Babel
Bland oafs' dumb sermon.



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: Bland morons' fame buds!

Michael Jackson - Thriller (Epic, 1982)

Michael Jackson - Thriller
Ha! Rich, ill jerk can molest!



Notes

1. Alternative anagram: I'll conceal this jr. harem, 'k?

Lou Reed - Legendary Hearts (RCA, 1983)

Lou Reed - Legendary Hearts
Dour, sere, leaden lethargy.

Rod Stewart - Tonight I'm Yours (Warner Bros., 1981)

Rod Stewart - Tonight I'm Yours
Tomorrow night? Dysuria test.



Notes

1. "Dysuria": Painful urination.

The dB's - The Sound of Music (IRS, 1987)

The dB's - The Sound of Music
Hotbed of dunces! It's mush.

Sonic Youth - Murray Street (DGC, 2002)

Sonic Youth - Murray Street
Hey, your art-music's rotten!